


You Need to See This

by XxXimaxX



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Growing Up, M/M, Mostly Canon Compliant, Raijin Days, Requited Unrequited Love, Slow Burn, shy boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-04-07 06:37:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14075094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxXimaxX/pseuds/XxXimaxX
Summary: They don't see it but Simon does. A collection of snippets of Simon seeing more to Shizuo and Izaya's dynamic than they ever could- and finally losing patience with it.(Re- posting under correct user name)





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Twyd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twyd/gifts).



> First Impressions
> 
> Simon meets two obnoxious boys and notices something intriguing

Simon liked Ikebukuro. He liked the bustle of the city and the interesting people in it, but Simon also liked peace. Though Ikebukuro was far gentler than his homeland there were a few things that disturbed Simon’s tranquility. Colored Gangs, Yakuza, even the occasional supernatural occurrence.

He found it a little odd that the greatest offenders were two school boys. Simon had noticed them before, a cackling little thing running away from a much larger boy with bleached hair who was shouting death threats. Simon hadn’t thought too much of what he assumed to be either a game or schoolyard scrap but after the big one took a swing at the other with a stop sign and broke Russia Sushi’s window. Simon put his foot down.

“Vhat you think you doing!?” Simon demanded grabbing the young man's wrist, preventing another swing. The previously roaring young man suddenly shrunk, staring guiltily up at Simon.

“I’m sorry.” The boy said dismay and shame showing clearly in his young face as he glanced at the wreck he had made. “I’m so sorry sir.” Simon just stared back down at the boy allowing his looming presence to do the talking. “I’ll pay for it.” The boy mumbled miserably. Simon was a little taken aback. From his previous observations he had expected a much brattier response like some of the other teen thugs who thought strength was determined by hurting others, but this kid seemed genuinely contrite. Which only created more questions.

“Yes, you vill, but money not issue.” The boy’s head jerked up at that. “Wha..?” He started.

Simon pointed at the other boy who had hung around in silence with glittering eyes. “Vhat if you hit little one!? Bullying not good.”

“Bully..?” The blonde said shocked before the rage from before started to cloud his open face.

“I’M NOT BULLYING HIM!” Simon opened his mouth to disagree before he heard a cackle from the other.

“It’s true Brezhnev-san” The boy said strutting closer to the two. “That is merely how Shizu-chan expresses his affection.” Simon was once again puzzled. Not by the claim but the voice. The small boy looked to Simon no older than 12- between the slender(scrawny) build and surprisingly pretty face Simon had assumed he had only just reached puberty, but his voice was a smooth tenor suggesting that he was closer to the others age than Simon had assumed. It was difficult to judge Asian ages.

“Affec? I HATE YOU MISERABLE FLEA!” The tall boy roared. Simon’s Japanese still needed work apparently, flea? Was that a name?”

“Shizu- chan how mean!” The little one teased.

“Enough!” Simon barked. He placed a hand on “Shizu-chan's” head “Apologize to little one.” Simon was once again startled by the remarkable resistance the boy put up against Simon’s massive palm.

“Ngh!” was all that came out of the angry boy’s mouth.

“That’s quit alright Brezhnev-san, despite my size I can take care of myself.” The little one said with a slight edge in his voice telling Simon that the boy was sensitive about his petite frame. Boys often were at that age. 

“Besides, Shizu-chan’s aim is so deplorable a cripple could dodge it.” The boy said gesturing toward Russian Sushi.

“I wouldn’t have missed if you just held still!!” ‘Shizu-chan’ barked trying to lunge forward, but Simon held him firm.

“How convenient for you, so what? You want me to just lay there while you to beat me to death?”

“You deserve it!”

“Stop!” Simon said. Both boys fell quiet; one looking angry but ashamed the other gleeful.

“What little one do to deserve beating?” Simon asked, noticing the boy’s eye twitch at being referred to as little again.

“He stole my homework!”

“I did no such thing.” He denied loftily. Simon couldn’t pinpoint why but he didn’t believe the denial for one second.

“Little one…” Simon said warning creeping into his deep voice.

“My name is Izaya.” The boy tried to sound off hand but couldn’t quiet hide his irritation. “So you can stop with the 'little'."

“But you are little, I-ZA-YA-kun. Like a flea.” Shizu-chan grinned. Actual fury seemed to enter Izaya’s eyes for a second before he blinked it away with a smirk.

“Just because I’m not a monster.” He said lightly. It was Shizu-chan’s turn for fury. But Simon held steady onto the boy’s shoulder.

“Izaya, homework?” Simon tried bringing things back to the root of the problem. Izaya locked eyes with the massive Russian before finally huffing and said. “I didn’t steal. I just happened upon some homework with such bad handwriting that I couldn’t possibly identify it and did the responsible thing and…”

“AH-HA!! Where did you put it Flea!?” Shizu-chan roared. Izaya’s smirk shifted from conceited to malicious.

“Why I put it the first place anyone with a brain would look.” Izaya said with so much false innocence Simon rolled his eyes. “Too bad you don’t have one.”

“WHERE!?”

“The Lost and Found.” Silence rung out for a couple seconds. Simon had a huge urge to thump the mischievous boy. Putting some thing that wasn’t lost in the Lost and Found was just ornery. But the boy was very small.

Instead he figured another tack would be more suitable and the boy’s cocky self-assurance was still so brittle Simon could almost feel the insecurity radiating off him. Simon remembered being that unsure once but couldn’t help the sudden urge to bring the kid down a peg.

“So pretty face shouldn’t be so conniving.” Simon scolded. Wait for it 3-2-1.

Izaya’s face flushed with shame and anger. Yup insecure about his face to. Poor kid had issues though Simon would be lying if he said poking that sore point wasn’t satisfying.

The "pretty" kid made some incoherent sputtering sounds which were drowned out by the strong kid’s snort.

“And you” Simon said giving Shizu-chan a little shake. “strong boys shouldn’t try hurt something so pretty.”

“IZAYA’s Not! “Shizu-chan objected glancing at the other boy before dropping his head and letting his voice get very quiet. “not pret…pretty” he finished staring at his shoes.

OH?

Izaya was too busy glaring daggers at Simon to see it. But Simon saw it.

 

Shizu-chan’s ears were bright red.


	2. Meddling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon sticks his nose where it doesn't belong but is most definitely needed

After some consideration and a lot of restraining Shizu-chan; Simon concluded that the best way for the two boys to repay for damages was to spend their food allowance every day at Russia Sushi. Together.

Both boys objected.

"I see the damned flea every day at school now you want me to be with him after!?" Shizu-chan exclaimed.

"Why should I? I didn't break anything." Izaya added sulkily.

"Either pay with own money or I call parents." Simon said to Shizu-chan noticing with satisfaction the boy's terror at the prospect of parental involvement.

"And you at fault to," Simon rounded on Izaya "shouldn't get in way of friend's grades, school important."

"We're NOT FRIENDS!" both boys snarled. One thing they agree on huh?

"Brezhnev-san, I assure you I am not what is preventing Shizu-chan's academic success. He was failing at life long before I came around." Izaya said malice glittering in his eyes.

"Not Like THIS!" Shizu-chan yelled.

"So, you admit that you fail at life?"

"ARGH!" Shizu-chan once again made a lunge for Izaya but Simon had it. He yanked back so hard on the back of Shizu-chan's collar that the blonde choked. Izaya smirked in triumph before the huge Russian grabbed him to. Both immediately started struggling. Simon paid no mind as he hauled both boys by the scruff of the neck into Russia Sushi and plopped them down on a bench.

"Both at fault, both eat and pay for Sushi and make up." Simon ordered towering over the boys. They glared back in teenage defiance. Simon got the distinct impression that Izaya was the more stubborn of the two- but not by much. Finally, Shizu-chan muttered. "C'mon Izaya I can't let my parents pay for another window."

"You want me to help you save face? A little late for that." Izaya scoffed.

"Please." The tall boy begged desperation creeping into his voice.

Izaya's eyes widened and for a moment the normally smirking face was completely unguarded. Shizu-chan was staring at his knees, but Simon watched as Izaya tried desperately to not give in. After what looked like an intense internal conflict Izaya sighed.

"Oh, alright, but only because it smells amazing in here." Izaya said with forced casualness.

Shizu-chan's head snapped up. He stared at Izaya mouth agape, gratitude filling his warm eyes. Izaya buried his head into a menu. Silence stretched for a moment then Shizu-chan's face split into a soft grin. He reached for his own menu muttering a quiet. "Thanks man." Izaya said nothing but shoved his face even further into the menu giving what Simon was sure was supposed to be a _hummm_  of acknowledgement but came out a little… squeaky.

Satisfied at the civility of the two Simon left them to decide while he went over to explain to a very patient Denis what this was all about.

Speaking in Russian Simon managed to convey the gist of the story.

"So, quarreling teenagers break our shop and you decide that making them regulars is the best solution.?" Denis asked with only slight exasperation.

"We need customers more than a check for a window. Kids spread news around; with some luck we will have whole gangs from that school." Simon justified.

"You really think those two have very many friends?" Denis asked looking over at the two boys who had scooted as far away from each other as possible. And were still not looking at one another.

"Maybe," Simon hedged. "But look the kids keep fighting and if nothing stops them its going to escalate and..."

"And you see a pair of troubled kids and can't help but meddle." Denis finished.

"Please?" Simon implored reminding himself of Shizu-chan. Denis appraised him coolly before…

"Alright fine, but only because you're right and I don't like fighting any more than you do." Denis announced. Simon grinned.

"But if they break anything it's your fault."

" _Da_ "

"And they aren't our kids got that!? It's not our job to fix them!"

" _Da_ "

"No discounts for them either!"

" _Da, Da_ " Simon said grabbing a couple plates of otoro.

"And find out that kid's real name, no boy that age wants to be called 'chan'!"

Simon smiled. Who did Denis think he was kidding? The man was a bigger softy than Simon.

"Here! Best otoro in Tokyo!" Simon said once again in broken Japanese. Shizu- _not_ chan- immediately reached for a plate but Izaya just peered back up at the large man.

"We hadn't ordered yet. What if I don't like otoro?"

Simon grinned and leaned forward. To the kid's credit he didn't lean away though Simon could see his discomfort as he set his delicate jaw.

"You eat otoro, you like, Simon knows." The two stared at each other for a moment before Shizu- _not_ chan- interrupted.

"Man, this is great!"

Simon gestured to the tall boy now happily scarfing down the fish.

"See?"

"Just because a beast likes something." He muttered. Honestly, was this boy contrary on reflex?

"Eat sushi, you like." Simon repeated. The boy grimaced. Staring down at the plate as if this was somehow a moral dilemma.

"If you don't want it flea..." Shizu- _not_ chan- reached for Izaya's plate only for Izaya to slap his hand with a pair of chopsticks.

"Don't steal my food!"

"Eat it then!"

"I will!" Izaya seemed to realize that he had been cornered as the other boy and Simon smirked down at him. Slowly the small boy selected a piece with casual elegance and took a small bite. The effect was immediate and would later be privately considered one of Simon's greatest accomplishments. Izaya's face lit up with unrepressed joy and made a high pitch squeal that was rather adorable.

"You like?" Simon asked feeling rather smug.

" _Hai"_ Izaya breathed swaying slightly in bliss.

Chortling to himself Simon went to gather the menus only to see Shizu- _not_ chan- staring openly at Izaya who was savoring another piece of otoro. Simon caught the boy's eye and quirked an eyebrow, the blonde- hastily returned to his own plate. Soon they were both eating in silence.

They couldn't, but Simon could see the easy contentment surrounding the boys as they both eased a little closer to each other.


	3. Soft Spots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys keep their promise and Simon has a favorite.

After the initial encounter things fell into a predictable if slightly aggravating routine. Every day after school the two boys would make their way to Russia Sushi and spend their pocket money on the excellent cuisine. Simon soon felt confident that without fail the boys would be there and likely long after they paid back damages- Izaya in particular seemed to have decided (rightfully so!) that all other Sushi was inferior and would be a lifelong patron. The only question was in how the boys arrived. 

Despite Simon’s growing suspicion of fondness between to two boys, Russia Sushi was regularly treated to the unmistakable sound of what Denis had dubbed “The Chase”.  
“The Chase” would occur every couple of days. Something would happen between the two boys, usually Izaya pulling some kind of juvenile prank or quipping an insult before running off and Shizuo (Simon finally learned his name) would follow. Shouting and flinging random objects all the way.

It was so predictable that once Simon heard Shizuo’s still changing voice, he would clear a path for Izaya to come charging through Russia Sushi’s doors; Shizuo hot on his heels. 

Simon soon found it imperative to position himself so he could remove whatever bit of city infrastructure Shizuo was brandishing before the boy destroyed anything else. Shizuo was always shaking with rage on these days but would surrender the street signs without a fight and opt for fuming at Izaya who would in turn be armed with one of his self-congratulatory smirks and another insult. This  served to enrage Shizuo further and Simon found himself greeting both boys with a calming (if rather patronizing) pat on the head for Shizuo and a light _smack_ upside the head for Izaya. 

Neither boy ever managed to dodge this assault to their fragile egos as they were both far to focused on each other. Though Simon was beginning to think that they simply didn’t really mind. Shizuo would visibly deflate as anger whooshed out of him and Izaya no longer flushed with indignation but instead would turn his smirk onto Simon with an increasingly cheeky greeting and request for otoro. 

It had become some bizarre game of tag with Russia Sushi acting as base. Simon’s insistence that no shenanigans take place in the shop had inadvertently given Izaya a place to run too. Something that the aggravating young man was perfectly willing to take advantage of. Simon sometimes wondered if he had in fact made the situation worse. Initially, Simon had sided with Izaya; feeling that Shizuo’s attempts at violence were the overreactions of hormonal teen boy with more testosterone than he knew what to do with. After all the childlike looking boy couldn’t be that bad.

Oh how wrong he was.

Izaya, as it turned out was a mischievous trouble maker that Loki himself would be proud of. And Shizuo was his favorite target. Not a week had gone by since this little arrangement that Shizuo didn’t come tearing into Russia Sushi with yet another story of how Izaya had:

• Stolen Shizuo’s lunch and replaced it with dog food.  
• Loosened the bolts in Shizuo’s chair  
• Wrote incorrect notes in Shizuo’s books  
• Tattled on Shizuo sleeping in class.  
• Told a random girl that Shizuo was stalking them  
• Spread a rumor that Shizuo was a hit man for that Yakuza  
• Ect ect.

Izaya would of course deny all of these claims with the same shit-eating tone that he did the first one. A tone that managed to always convince Simon one hundred and ten percent that Izaya was guilty. 

The worst part about it was that Simon found it difficult to stay angry at the boy. Izaya had a way of turning the most obnoxious behavior into the weirdly endearing antics of a little rascal. Much like Shizuo’s frightening displays of strength and violence felt more like a dog misbehaving rather than a nearly grown man using potentially lethal force.  
Simon put this down to their youth and while Shizuo managed to go from Rottweiler nightmare to Golden Retriever puppy in 0 seconds flat; Izaya just oozed charm. He was witty and curious, and his near worshipful appreciation of Russia Sushi had given Simon a distinct soft spot for little berk. 

A soft spot that Simon was convinced Shizuo shared. 

Because there were days, when things were peaceful. Days when both boys simply arrived and ate in silence sending each other nervous glances before looking away when the other looked up. 

And on those days Shizuo would do that thing. That thing that was almost painful to watch it was so recognizable. Simon remembered doing that thing. You want to say something to the pretty girl or cool upperclassman, so you keep opening your mouth only to realize you’ve got nothing to say. And then berating yourself because everything that comes to mind is sooooo _lame_ even in your own head. And stupid. And you’re stupid- an idiot and please just kill me now.  
  
It was so obvious Simon wondered how Izaya kept missing that Shizuo was trying to talk to him. 

Though granted Izaya was busy doing that other thing. The thing where you are trying to convince everyone (especially yourself) that you soooo don’t care that so and so is sitting next to you. Izaya might have a natural grace about him that was remarkable in such a young man but Izaya had a tendency on these day to get a little…pose-y. He stretched his neck and twirled his chopsticks. He would Lounge this way and Drape that. It was so ridiculous and brought to mind every time Simon had puffed out his chest and lowered his voice in his youth. 

Thank heavens Simon wasn’t young anymore. 

But despite his soft spot for Izaya Simon was finally losing patience with his antics.

It was the second time that week that Shizuo’s voice could be heard calling for Izaya’s head. Denis shot Simon an exasperated look and Simon groaned, he really wasn’t feeling up to this today.

“This is your fault.” Denis said in Russian.

“I know.” Simon groaned back.

“You’re the one that decided that wrangling two nutcases was a good idea.”

“I thought they would chill out after a while, they obviously want to be friends I don’t know what Izaya’s problem is.” Denis snorted.

“Oh yes, that's the sound of two kids who really secretly like each other not the sound of homicidal loathing at all!”

“They do!” Simon protested “They are just…I don’t know...awkward.” Denis gave Simon a look of complete disbelief.

“Well you better get ready before Shizuo ‘awkwards’ Izaya and our shop into pieces.” Simon nodded before going to stand by the door.

True to form Izaya dashed into the restaurant at break neck speed placing his hand on the bar as if it really was the base in tag.

“Safe!” He exclaimed victoriously

Shizuo was not far behind. The tall boy came rushing in hauling a trashcan this time that had thankfully lost all of it’s garbage at some point.

“IZAYA! YOU ARE SO DEAD!” Shizuo lifted the trashcan as if to chuck it.

Simon cut Shizuo off by firmly removing it from the boy’s grip and placing it outside, when he came back in Shizuo was snarling at Izaya.

“You little snake, what did you do that for!?”

“Whatever could Shizu-chan mean? It’s not my fault those upperclassmen attacked you!”

“Calm Shizuo.” Simon ordered patting Shizuo’s head. Shizuo gave his token growl before actually leaning into Simon's massive palm and exhaling. 

“See Shizu-chan, Calm.” Izaya crooned. Shizuo growled.

“And you!” Simon said walking over and (lightly) smacking Izaya upside the head “Stop starting fight!!” Izaya stumbled forward a bit before grinning up at Simon.

“Mr. Brezhnev, Good afternoon, may I have an order of your finest Otoro?” Simon was ready to launch into a full lecture but stopped suddenly.

“You speak Russian?” Simon was floored. Out of Izaya’s mouth was indeed heavily accented but accurate Russian. Denis had stopped cooking to look up as well.

Izaya’s face became positively sunny. 

“Did I get it right?” He asked once again in Japanese.

“Your accent is terrible.” Denis said.

Izaya’s face fell a bit but he quickly covered it up. 

“But was the grammar right?”

“ _Da_ ” Simon said still perplexed. Izaya glowed.

“How you know Russian?” Simon asked.

Izaya shrugged going over to sit at his usual spot.

“I’m good at languages, English is easy, and my Chinese is coming and since I am coming here all the time I thought I would give Russian a go.” His tone was decidedly off hand but Simon could hear a slight waver in voice as if he really wanted this to go over well.

And Dammit it did. 

Simon's mood was suddenly infinitely brighter. He went and got the boys usual order and sat it down for them.

“You come here we teach you more Russian.” Simon said cheerily.

“ _Spasibo_ ” Izaya said a rare genuine smile gracing his features. Sorry Shizuo, Izaya was officially Simon’s favorite.

“You learn too.” Simon said to Shizuo.

Shizuo shook his head sullenly.

“I’m failing English. I can’t go trying to learn Russian too.”

“How are you failing English?” Izaya asked incredulously.

“Not all of us are geniuses, flea!” Shizuo snapped resentfully, shame once again coloring his deep voice.

Izaya appraised Shizuo for a minute before suddenly lunging forward and grabbing Shizuo’s bag.

“Hey!”

“Mr. Brezhnev, hold him.” Izaya instructed once again in Russian. Simon grabbed Shizuo before the boy could yank his bag back. Izaya immediately rifled through it before pulling out a text book and notebook with English lettering. 

“Give that back!” Shizuo demanded. Izaya ignored him carefully scanning through the notebook.

“Mm-hmm, yup!” Izaya said after a moment “You’re completely lost.”

“Shut up!”

“English’s verb- subject patterns are backward to ours, and you keep mixing up the gendered pronouns.” Izaya said “See here,” Izaya placed the notebook on the bar and pointed. “ ‘He went to the store.’ Not ‘The store she went.’ She is feminine, he is masculine.”

Simon eased his grip on Shizuo as the blonde leaned forward, suddenly very focused.

“How am I supposed to keep them straight?”

“English uses the masculine as the default. The root form is masculine the adjusted form is feminine. Man- Woman. Male-Female -He-She see?”

“Ok, that makes sense.”

“Just be careful of him and her.”

“Gotcha.”

Both boys were now very absorbed in the impromptu tutoring session, so Simon decided he could ease away. It went on for a while, with Shizuo occasionally expressing his frustration and Izaya patiently explaining some grammar rule.

“That’s stupid!” Shizuo exclaimed.

“It’s English- of course it’s stupid.” Izaya snarked. “Here now your try.” 

Shizuo was too intent on the paper to see it is, tongue sticking out as he attempted to construct the sentence, but Simon saw it. A gentle smile on Izaya’s lips.

 


	4. Multiplied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh.. so they do have friends.

It was a full 2 months before Simon’s gamble for more customers paid off.

Simon had taken a break from trying to coax customers before readying himself for the onslaught of  the ‘awkward duo’. It had been several minutes since school got out and so far Simon hadn’t heard any ruckus. That was a good sign, if the boys were fighting then Simon would have likely heard it by now.

It lifted Simon's spirits to know that likely the worse that would happen that day was intense silence and the occasional blush. Even Denis seemed to relax as the clock reached half past and Simon wondered if this would be another tutor session or if both boys would refuse to talk to each other.

Izaya taking it upon himself to tutor Shizuo had greatly improved relations between the two. The Chase happened only three times since then and while moodiness on either part prevented regular tutoring- (only happening twice more) they at least managed to not enrage one another so much. Simon was waiting for the day the two would come in excitedly discussing sports or evil teachers or heck even girls...(an increasingly unlikely topic but still!).. But nope, both boys seemed completely unable to communicate outside of insults or Izaya attempting to sink facts into Shizuo’s academically challenged brain. If either weren’t in the mood for schoolwork the dumb dance of nervous glances would resume.

You know Izaya, if Shizuo is ok with you explaining algebra to him you could probably ask him how his day went. And Shizuo, Izaya sits close enough to grade your work, you could look him in the eye, he won’t bite.

Maybe.

But something happened that day that made Simon think there was a lot more to the boy’s nervousness then not knowing how to make friends.

As time wore on, Simon started to wonder if the boys were coming at all today when he heard the unmistakable sound of teen boys chatting.

“This the place?” One deep mellow voice asked

“I can’t believe this is where you have been disappearing to… and here I thought we were friends!” A shrill one voice exclaimed

There was some rather obnoxious laughter then, “so you’re indentured customers?!” From the shrill voice and more laughter.

“Shut Up Shinra.” A chorus of both Izaya and Shizuo’s voices snapped.

Denis looked up at Simon who was expecting to be able to finally smugly say ‘I told you so’. But Denis looked horrified. Puzzled Simon opened his mouth only for Denis to shake his head and gesture to the door. Deciding to put that off till latter Simon turned to greet the boys and their new guests. Sure enough in bounded a hyperactive looking boy with glasses and in his wake a curious young man with a strong jaw who was taking in Russia Sushi with great interest and behind them…

Simon had never seen his boys so miserable.

Both Shizuo and Izaya were inclined to sulk but this… Shizuo looked like he had been threaten, bribed and finally dragged to the restaurant and wanted everyone to know that HE DID NOT want to be here. And Izaya… Izaya had that slouched folded in on himself look of a child wanting the earth to swallow him whole before his parent could say anything. 

“Are you Brezhnev-san?” “The boy with glasses asked Simon cheerily.

Simon rather reluctantly dragged his eyes away from Izaya and Shizuo who had both slunked off to their usual seats.

“ _Da_ ,” Simon replied “You Shizuo and Izaya friend?”

“Yup! Kishitani Shinra mutual friend of both!” Shinra announced. Shizuo snorted.

“And you is?” Simon asked the other boy.

“Kodota Kyouhei” The other both replied with a polite but casual bow and easy grin. Simon was a little surprised. This boy seemed to radiate the confidence that Izaya only wished he carried. He seemed… steady. Simon wondered how he possibly became involved with the two disasters that were still looking like their lives were over.

“Ne, Ne Brezhnev-san is it true that you slapped Izaya?” Shinra asked gleefully.

Simon felt slightly taken aback. “Vell, Izaya can go too far…” Simon tried to explain.

Both of the new boys snickered. Simon was sure he heard Izaya mutter “I fucking hate you” to Shizuo.

“Don’t worry Brezhnev-san I know better than anyone that he definitely deserved it.” Shinra waved his hand vigorously “But what I really want to know is how the hell do you stop Shizuo’s rampages- the guy’s barely human and can I dissect you?”

…. What?

Surely Simon misheard.

Simon looked over to Denis to see if he understood but Denis looked just as horrified and confused as Simon. Shizuo groaned and brought his head down hard on the bar with a loud _thunk._

“This is your fault” Izaya hissed. Shizuo just groaned again and muttered something Simon didn’t catch.

“Sorry repeat slow?” Simon asked surely the boy had meant something… not that.

“I mean after you die obviously” Shinra continued as if that made if better. “Any person who can physically match Shizuo should really be studied for the sake of science.

“Ah…?” Simon said nervously... ok so they did have friends... insane ones.

“Let it go Shinra nobody is going to let you dissect them, stop being such a freak.” Kyouhei smacked Shinra before smiling apologetically at Simon. Shinra deflated a little.

“Doto-chin I love you!” Izaya exclaimed in a falsely cutesy voice that Simon had never heard him use before.” Kyouhei looked slightly annoyed before a truly wicked grin that did remind Simon of Izaya broke across his face.

“Besides,” Kyouhei drawled “What we really want is details on all the secret dates these two have been going on for the past… what two months? Right Shinra?”

Shinra immediately reflated and both boys now leered at Izaya and Shizuo. “That's right Brezhnev- san” Shinra whined “ I have been best friends with Orihara-kun since middle school but he won’t tell me a single thing about his _love life_ even though I introduced him to his _boyfriend_ ”

That was apparently enough. Shizuo launched himself from his seat at the mocking boys with a roar and Simon had to move quickly to restrain him.

“SHINRA!!”

“Shizuo! Calm DOWN!” Simon barked hand firmly gripping Shizuo’s upper arm. Shizuo was quivering in rage but as always started to take deep breaths when Simon insisted.

“Wow..” Kyouhei breathed impressed.

“Yeah…” Shinra agreed “I didn’t really believe it but there really is someone who can control Shizuo.”

Once Simon was sure that Shizuo would not break anything or anyone he rounded on the two “friends”

“Teasing not allowed in shop! If you want make friend feel bad you leave!” Simon loomed over the two inconsiderate twits. Simon knew the boys meant it as good-natured ribbing but Simon had a hunch that this was the one topic that  his fragile boys could not stand to be mocked for. Both boy’s looked slightly abashed. Shizuo was breathing hard and Izaya…

Izaya was looking down at his lap. His hair hiding his face.

“Sorry.’ Both boys said to Simon who just jerked his finger at Shizuo and Izaya making it quite clear who was owed the apology.

“Sorry man.” Kyouhei said to Shizuo who seemed to relax, even rolling his eyes. “we didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just you guys always act like you can’t stand each other sooo c’mon it was just joke.”

“Right.” Shinra said recovering his chipper nature; going over and slinging an arm around Izaya’s shoulders and looking back over at Shizuo

“Don’t worry Shizuo we know that your obsession with Izaya is because he’s evil not cause he’s… what the word…. right ‘pretty’.” Shinra smirked. Izaya flushed Rose and pushed Shinra off.

“At least I am not so unappealing that dear old Celty will never ever return my creepy stalker feelings.” Izaya drawled finally deciding to act more like himself.

“They aren’t’ creepy” Shinra exclaimed “My love is Pure!”

“Dude you were literally us asking if she would find an anatomically correct heart made of chocolate charming or not.” Shizuo said having calmed down enough to quip. Simon heaved a sigh of relief. The situation seemed to have righted its ‘self. So he went back to get the usual orders and a couple of menus.

“They Multiplied.” Denis said in hushed Russian.

“Customers?” Simon offered hopefully.

“Nutcases’s!”

“Oh c’mon.”

“He wants to dissect you!”

“Maybe it’s slang?” Denis just gave Simon a look of disbelief.

“This is your fault.” Denis muttered. “What’s next axe killers? Gang Leaders?” Simon grabbed the Otoro rollings his eyes.

When he came back the four were laughing good naturally.

“Seriously though,” Shinra asked for the first time his voice a more normal register. “How did you two manage to not kill each other all this time.

“Simon won’t let us.” Izaya drawled. Reaching for his Otoro.

“Yeah, and Izaya’s been helping with my homework sometimes so it’s not so bad.” Shizuo said carelessly. Izaya froze his face tinging pink and shot Shinra an alarmed look who leaned in knowingly “Ooooh has he now…” He said in sing-song tone that reminded Simon of nursery rhythms… and mentalities.

“Yeah, no really, it’s been great he's supper fuckin' smart..” Shizuo continued oblivious before Izaya elbowed him hard; face now a brilliant shade of fussia.

“OW! What hell Flea!?”

“Stop talking.”

“Why?”

“ ’Cause you’re an idiot and I hate you.”

“WHAT!?” A quick scuffle ensued with lots of unrelated insults and growling. Kyouhei sighed and opened the menu and the Disaster Duo were too busy to notice but Shinra caught Simon’s eye and gave him a knowing wink, before turning back to his “friends”

So Simon wasn’t the only one who Saw it this time.

 

Izaya and Shizuo arguing with their flushed “angry” faces mere inches from each other,

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Fanfic and I am super nervous about posting. I hope it's alright. Reviews would be great- let me know what you think.  
> I have had this idea of Simon as a sorta 'dad' figure for a while, I will try to stay cannon compliant.  
> I have enjoyed a lot of wonderful stories on this site and wanted to try to contribute.
> 
> -I re-posted this because for some reason it was originally posted under anonymous still figuring out the site


End file.
